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[casi] Fwd: [IPPN] Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle

Wow! We'll all have to eat humble pie, now, & revise our views! BG.

>From: Ted Glick <>
>Subject: [IPPN]  Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle
>Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2003 10:49:04 -0500
>The Onion, 3/26/2003
>Bush Bravely Leads 3rd Infantry Into Battle
>IRAQ-KUWAIT BORDER-As the U.S. Army's 3rd Infantry Division began its
>assault on Iraq Monday, President Bush marched alongside the front-line
>soldiers, bravely putting his own life on the line for his country by
>personally participating in the attack.
>"Bush is the real deal, and when he talks about fighting for freedom, he
>means it," said Pvt. Tom Scharpling, 21. "He'd never ask one of us grunts
>take any risks for our country that he wasn't willing to take himself."
>According to reports from the front, many of the soldiers were initially
>suspicious of the president, doubtful that an Ivy Leaguer who once used
>powerful family connections to avoid service in Vietnam had what it took to
>face enemy fire head-on. However, Bush-or, as his fellow soldiers nicknamed
>him in a spirit of battlefield camaraderie, 'Big Tex'-quickly overcame the
>platoon's reluctance to having a "fancy-pants Yalie" in its ranks.
>"Bush is the best soldier I've ever had the honor of fighting alongside,"
>said Pvt. Jon Benjamin, 23. "I'd take a bullet for that man, because I know
>he'd take one for me if he had to."
>Proving himself a worthy foot soldier, Bush has earned the respect of his
>fellow front-line combatants with acts of courage and heroism that one
>soldier called "a truly inspiring example of one man's commitment to the
>cause of liberty."
>"Just yesterday, George stormed an Iraqi machine-gun nest when our sergeant
>took one in the belly," Pvt. Scott "Lumpy" Fellers, 20, told reporters. "We
>were pinned down, cut off from our division, and it looked like curtains
>us all. Thankfully, George was there. He ran through heavy artillery fire
>and lobbed a grenade right into their bunker. If it hadn't been for him,
>knows how many of us would've been coming home in body bags."
>"It's not just any president who would risk his life like the nation's men
>in uniform do," Fellers added. "God bless him and everything he stands
>Bush's courage, sources say, was evident from the earliest stages of the
>war's planning. Though the Pentagon initially wanted an air war with
>ground combat, Bush quickly dismissed this strategy, insisting that the
>way a true and lasting victory could be achieved was to go in and
>by dune, village by village-until Iraq was finally free.
>White House sources say Bush's decision to place his own life on the line
>for his country met with resistance from top military leaders.
>"The Joint Chiefs of Staff kept telling him, 'Mr. President, we beg
>here in Washington, where it's safe.' But George was having none of it,"
>said Maj. Gen. Buford Blount, commander of the 3rd Infantry. "He was
>that if our boys overseas were going to risk their lives for liberty, he
>going to do the same. And, by God, he proved himself a man of his word."
>The president has only been in battle for less than a week, but he has
>already proven himself more than willing to put himself in the line of
>"The president carried me through an enemy minefield after my arm had been
>blown off by a mortar shell, blazing away with his pistol as he delivered
>to safety," Pvt. Chris Adair said. "Then, after he'd gotten me to a medic,
>he went all the way back through that same minefield-carrying a 40-pound
>of ice the whole way-to retrieve my severed arm so the doctors could sew it
>back on. Now, thanks to President Bush, I'll still be able to play piano
>the church choir back home in Appleton, just like I promised Grandma. He is
>truly an American hero."
>Adair's comments were echoed by many of the soldiers fighting alongside
>"I used to be cynical about politicians who are born into privilege and
>wealth. I thought, 'Sure, they talk a good game about our duty to protect
>democracy, but when push comes to shove, they'd rather send off the
>poor, uneducated, and underprivileged to do the fighting for them,'" said
>Pvt. Frank Elkins, 19. "I always figured they'd rather see somebody else
>in some foreign land than make that sacrifice themselves. But now I know I
>was wrong."
>"There may be some folks out there, born silver spoon in hand, who'd act
>that way, but that ain't Bush. No, that ain't Bush," Elkins said. "He ain't
>no fortunate son."
> Copyright 2003 by Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
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